we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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