What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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