Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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