He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
