just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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