wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
