Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
