guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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