It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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