I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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