Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You can't motorboat a personality
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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