she was so not down for the gang bang
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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