I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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