I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
