did you get engaged???
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I don't think brook has ever known best
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
