Soap is not a condiment
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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