every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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