I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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