when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
