It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
