Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
