dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
