and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
