We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
