Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
