Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
