windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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