Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
