Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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