thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
