the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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