I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
not ubering you a puppy
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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