I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
