Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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