UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
