Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
