READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
