tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
