Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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