covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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