If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
