3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Randomize
