he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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