pedialite and red bull = repair kit
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
