she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
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