i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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