wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
