i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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