Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
