He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize