So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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