I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
