return my video game
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
