Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
