I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
zippers are such a cool invention
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize