Who did Billy Mays play for?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
