Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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