M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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