Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize