those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
