The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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